The 10 Step Guide to Defeating the Cult of Calvin **sarcasm**

1)      Ensure that you bring up John Calvin as soon as possible. It is a great idea to get the audience on your side early, and what better way than accusing the opposition of “worshipping a man”. Bring up John Calvin before the Calvinist does. The debate becomes too theological if the Calvinist quotes Calvin theologically.

2)      Remember to... filter all of God’s attributes through His attribute of love. Keep the other attributes of God a secret. Remember to never let the Bible dictate your definition of God’s love: Christians can certainly learn a lot about love form Brangelina. Rob Bell’s new book “Love Wins” will help you here.

3)      When the Calvinist posts Bible verses, don’t fret… yet. Sometimes silence is good, therefore there can be nothing wrong with arguing from silence. If a verse makes you feel uneasy, it does not have to be true for you. “Doctrine divides” is a good slogan here: the alliteration makes it catchy too, which makes Christianity “hip and happening”.

4)      When occasions arise where the Holy Spirit used the wrong word, make sure you make this known. For example, Paul really meant “post-destination” rather than “predestination”, and “called” actually means that God shouted out and pleaded.  To avoid these words, it can be handy to pick up a children’s Bible or a paraphrase. Too much effort to flip the pages? Your personal experience will do fine!

5)      Always argue from emotion, try to avoid the Bible – even though “free will is all over the Bible”. After all we are to love God with our “…heart…”. “That wouldn’t be just”; “God would not predestine innocent babies to hell” and “God is not a tyrant” are some good lines for the modern man. They would bring a tear to Joel Osteen’s eye.

6)      Never study Genevan Politics. A wise man once said “what you don’t know can’t harm you”. If you make the error of studying Genevan Politics, it will be at your own peril. You will soon discover that John Calvin did not have the authority to order the execution of Servetus. Nonetheless, “Calvin is a murderer” is our best defence: ad hominen, guilt by association, ad nauseam and red herring in four words. Nice! Use this point as much as possible.

7)      Remember “no Bible student goes anywhere without a pen”. No! Not to take notes! Some parts of the Bible are quite confronting. The permanent marker works wonders in crossing out passages that you don’t like or cannot twist to refer to nationalistic Israel. With the strike of a pen you too can remove John 1:12-13 and Ephesians 2:8-9 from your Bible!

8)       It uses a lot of ink to remove whole chapters from Scripture such as John 6, Ephesians 1 and Romans 9. It is best to glue these pages together, or insert corrections: “I will draw all men to myself” clarifies John 6, and the Greek and Hebrew manuscripts forgot to add “just kidding” after “Jacob I loved, Esau I hated”.

9)      Remember to quote Dave Hunt. Let me correct that: never partake in an argument that does not quote Dave Hunt. This gives more ammunition to our emotional reasoning. When the Calvinist replies with verses, or by using the ‘c word’ (context) you must remember to keep accusing the Calvinist of worshipping men, despite the fact they have not yet quoted any.

10)   By this stage the Calvinist is becoming way too doctrinal. They are even using logic! Venomously defend the fact that “every person without exception from Judea and Jerusalem was baptised in Jordan”…I mean “that Christ died for all the sins of all people without exception: including unbelief”. Do not take no…I mean context for an answer! Always remember to finish with “well I guess God predestined me to oppose the cult of Calvin”. If the Calvinist replies with any more verses, keep repeating John 3:16!

(C), J. Williams, 2011.

The Five Points of Calvinism

The Five Points of Calvinism were formulated by the Synod of Dort in 1618 in reaction to Arminianism. Though the teachings of John Calvin agree with all five points, John Calvin did not invent Calvinism; in fact he was dead when the term Calvinism was coined. These doctrines are those held by the majority of theologians prior to the rise of Catholicism.

Total Depravity: At the fall, man fell completely. Every aspect of man is corrupted by sin; his mind (Genesis 6:5), emotions (Jeremiah 17:9) and will (Ephesians 2:3), the non-Christian is a slave to sin (John 8:34). Man’s will is in bondage to his sinful nature which cannot understand spiritual things (1 Corinthians 2:14), please God (Romans 8:7-8) or choose God (Romans 3:10-12).

Because no one can choose God, the only way someone can believe is if God draws them (John 6:44). People are born again by the will of God (John 1:12-13), as no one can come to God (John 6:65). God chose man; man did not choose God (John 15:16).

Unconditional Election: God chose whom he would save before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4-5). This is called election. God’s choice is based solely on His sovereign will (Romans 9:15-16), not on any faith or virtuous quality (Romans 9:11) foreseen in man. Those God sovereignty elected (2 Thessalonians 2:13), He brings through the power of the Holy Spirit to a willing acceptance of Christ (Titus 3:5).

Limited Atonement: Christ died for only the elect (John 10:11, 15) - those chosen before the foundation of the world. Christ’s blood is sufficient to save everyone, in that if he wanted to save anyone else he wouldn’t need to die again, but Jesus only died for the elect so his death is only effective for the elect (Acts 20:28, Ephesians 5:25-27). Jesus death is a propitiation (Romans 3:25, Hebrews 2:17, 1 John 4:10) which means ‘a sacrifice that turns God’s wrath into favour’. If Christ died for everyone, His wrath would be satisfied against everyone, so everyone would be saved, contradicting John 3:36.

Irresistible Grace: To the elect, God sends an internal call (2 Corinthians 1:21-22) to believe which cannot be resisted (John 6:37, Romans 9:19-21, Ephesians 2:4-5) because God is omnipotent (Acts 13:48, 1 Corinthians 1: 23-25). This call is by the Holy Spirit who regenerates the elect  bringing them to repentance whereby they come to God  (Ezekiel 36:26, Titus 3:5, Romans 9:16).

Perseverance of the Saints: You cannot lose your salvation (Jeremiah 32:40, Hebrews 6:11). Because salvation is entirely the work of God (Ephesians 2:8-9), those saved are eternally secure in Christ (John 6:37, Revelation 3:5). By the power of God you will preserve in faith from being sealed by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14) to the end (John 10: 27-28. 1 Corinthians 1: 8-9, Philippians 1:6).

Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not you own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”
(c), J. Williams, 2008.